Make it Work.

You know you aren’t in Corporate America anymore when you have to walk through a large puddle to get from the door to the desk in your Boss’ office.

This week I learned an important lesson about weather (and this now seems trite given the global impact that mother nature is having everywhere – so please forgive me).

Sandstorm + Rainstorm = mud, leaks and no internet.

I wonder sometimes how anyone managed to get anything done without the internet or printers, etc. On Sunday (the starting day of our workweek here in Abu Dhabi), the wind/rain/other such flood related side effects from the storms this weekend has caused the internet at all internal networks over here to cease all reasonable functionality. I say “reasonable” because everything here runs at a snail’s pace in the first place (except the fast, fast cars).

This laid back, easy approach is refreshing in some cases. For example, I’ve enjoyed some lengthy meals here – with no restaurant staff rushing us out of the place in hopes of seating a table that orders more expensive wine and appetizers. Unfortunately, the process of doing business is a tad slower that what I am accustomed to. Given the insane amount of time I spend expediting things, producing reports and documents, researching information and emailing all day, one would be correct in assuming that an internet stoppage renders me nearly useless. This was the case on Sunday (and again for part of today), as I could not even Google the frequency of sandstorms in this region. Tthough last night I did discover that I am in the “rainy month” now, which is super for my hair. Really. Psyched about that. Can I blame global warming for the curly, frizzy, uncontrollable situation on top of my head?

Also, sometimes it’s nice to putz around on the World Wide Web because a “server” is down, prohibiting one from printing/emailing/etc. Even being without a blackberry isn’t so bad as, for just a moment, you can look up, have a conversation with another individual and actually remember what they look and sound like because, for the better part of the past 5 years, you’ve had your nose in your Blackberry, iPhone, or some kind of Palm thing and are better at texting than talking (speaking of Palm things, I’d like to take this opportunity to say that I think they are “rubbish” and if you see my Dad and have a spare Blackberry or iPhone lying around, please give it to him so he tosses the brick from his pocket/belt/my mother’s dinner table and joins the rest of the cool kids in the world of functional mobile devices…seriously). Maybe that’s just me, but this is all so obvious this week because I HAD NO INTERNET AT WORK. (Caps intentional).

List of things that happen when there is no internet and subsequent sidebars:

(1) My boss cannot send me things to edit and print (HOORAY!!). I told him as much and, as I am sure is the case for many, my boss does not like excuses…he expects problems to be solved (in this case, by me). So how did I solve it? I went to a store, bought a local printer to plug into my PC*, I went home, accessed internet there, had a snack, saved the emails to my laptop, checked Facebook, went back to work, plugged the printer into the laptop, printed the documents and saved the day. Unfortunately, after I save the day under normal circumstances, I usually answer a few emails, make a few calls, format a spreadsheet or two and then goof off for 20 minutes (which is what other people do on smoke breaks that I don’t take because while, yes, I could use the release of a cigarette, I tend to prefer not smelling like a dive bar). For me this usually includes shuffling through emails from JCrew and other fave stores and checking out anything new on their websites, buying birthday gifts or baby presents, looking at bags I cannot afford on LouisVuitton.com, checking out the news or otherwise wasting company time and money.

(2) I am actually forced to a) make phone calls or b) start new projects wherein the research or data is printed and easily transposed/compiled in a word or excel document. I hate option B - while is what some people call “being productive”, I call it “things that a robot should do instead of me that I am happy to still be paid for at this point in the recession”…and either I complete these projects quickly (see previous blog’s references to caffeine) or hit a standstill due to the unreliable internet and/or unadulterated boredom, at which point I obviously proceed to the next option…

(3) Writing this blog.

*Note: All was not lost on this quick printer trip, as I found a cute giraffe print purse in the store NEXT to the electronics store with the printer. I negotiated the price down by over a third and made the quick purchase as one of my colleagues surveyed the printer options. If that is not efficient shopping, I don’t know what is! Added bonus: this was my first real Abu Dhabi negotiation experience. Unfortunately, after their first offer (the price less 25%), they took my first counter offer, which means I probably left money on the table (and probably that this purse is likely going to fall apart within weeks). Nonetheless, a small victory for me (especially when the gal threw in a matching wallet)!

As much as this was a fun interlude, most of the day was frustrating because I could not solve the internet problem (among other issues I am facing as the go-to “fixer” in our new office). Making it even more apparent how useless I am this week, a coworker who has worked in these parts for some time mentioned that one time, a boat hit a cable in the Indian Ocean and the internet was screwed up for months.

MONTHS!?!?

Insane. Insane because we have zero control over this. Zero. None. Zip.

(Press the pause button on your internal monologue that is saying, “This gal needs to chill out and let it go…”)

I like control. I like driving the car (which I forgot because my trusty Emergency Person, God bless him, did a lot of the driving in Vegas after I experienced a mildly traumatic engagement with a highway guide wall a few years back), I like planning trips, I like to be spontaneous but only when I have a safety net (money, a place to sleep, etc.). This move, on a large scale, was about improving the skill set I’ve begun to develop of making something out of nothing. Starting things from scratch. Oh how I love a clean slate. The cleaner the slate, the easier it is to control what is on the slate. (There’s a joke in there about the world’s biggest sandbox being as clean a slate as you can get, but clearly you haven’t seen Dubai and what they did to THAT slate).

However, after nearly a month in the sandbox, I am acutely aware of just how little control I have over anything. This is not to say that I am unsafe, but more to admit some level of defeat while simultaneously demonstrating a little bit of anxious, hopeful…fear with regard to my limitations. Things take more time, depend on more people and systems that might not be up to USA standards, are not easily expedited, are not easily sorted and when they are sorted, it may not be in a consistent manner. I wonder how I talked myself into this situation, given my penchant for plans and control and fast internet. I recall the pro/con list I had – and the level of risk was not high, while the level of familiarity with this place was very low. Clearly.

Suffice it to say, I am comfortable enough in my own skin to jump into in unfamiliar territory (which comes from doing a few things to make it familiar while at the same time letting go of those things that aren’t totally necessary, like clothes dryers or maps), but I am struggling with letting go of the reigns. I have to ask for help. I have to listen. I have to learn how to communicate literally with people who don’t understand slang-ridden English because they only learned textbook UK English (or, no English at all). I have to learn to be prepared for a day, week or month without internet (or so I hear, electricity on occasion). Of course this is purely work related on most levels but the internet is also the only way I can communicate with home besides my $3.50/minute international blackberry and the post here which is exponentially less reliable than the internet.

So this is a project now. A girl has got to have a project. The goal is have a little patience, at least enough to assess the resources available and use creativity where possible (which is awesome, if you think about it…particularly given how little I get to be creative expressively each day), and fix things. However, whereas resourcefulness and creativity are on the list of “Things About Me That I Note as Strengths” for interview purposes, I’ve never been patient in my life. Ever. Ok so I am more patient than some people – I am not a complete jerk or anything – but I am a little tightly wound and don’t like sitting around waiting for stuff to get fixed so I can proceed with my day. I like to fix it. I have to make it work

In Vegas, I had a sketch of Tim Gunn over my desk that said “MAKE IT WORK.” If you don’t watch Project Runway, you should. It’s fantastic. I would be remiss if I didn’t celebrate the Emergency Person here by complimenting him for putting up with episode after episode (though, he does have an architecture degree and likes weird furniture and funky lamps, so I think he appreciates the skill it takes to make a dress, or pants, or anything that makes me look attractive…). Long story less long: I love how Tim Gunn is soooo not about the excuses. Make it work. And if you cannot make it work, you end up with a model on the runway whose ass is hanging out of her dress. Yikes.

This digression sews the above thoughts together in the following way: 1) I have to make it work (e.g. do my job, live my life, communicate in different ways than I am used to – as my resource list just got cut by about 50%); and 2) I have to learn when I cannot make it work. This is where the patience project comes into play. I suck at that part. And I am working on it more and more now because I am in this crazy place (this hot, humid, rainy, sandy place with no internet or slow internet and leaky ceilings) and if I cannot be patient and find a way to make this work for me I will not be happy.

The third point (less relevant but more awesome), which was illustrated this week not only as part of the solution to my actual challenge but also as a means to passing the time, is that shopping (even window shopping) is always an option. That’s something they don’t mess around with in Abu Dhabi. Malls and air conditioning. Thank God (or Allah, or Tim Gunn or some other deity in whom your faith resides).